The Things I Learned in Dorset

Just had a fab road trip taking in the totally superb Sherborne Literary Festival and a break in Lyme Regis on the Jurassic Coast. Wonderful. Here are some of the things I discovered.

 

1.  Dorset has more calories than any other county in England: pasties, cream teas, fish and chips.

2.  It is called the Jurassic Coast as that’s where the original Jurassic Park was filmed.

3.  The Co-Op in Sherborne is the shiniest supermarket I’ve ever seen.

4.  There is no decent internet service. Anywhere.

5.  Enjoyment of social networking is somewhat curtailed when you have to lean backwards over your balcony with your ipad above your head to get a Twitter connection.

6.  Dorset has some of the slowest drivers on the planet. Many of them wear a flat cap.

7. Walking on sand is a lot more difficult that I remember it being.

8.  Lyme Regis is a major centre for fossils. That doesn’t mean the age of the people who go there.

9.  The last time I was in Lyme Regis was that day that Elvis Presley died – 16 August 1977.

10. Seagulls are not misunderstood. They’re evil bastards.

11.  In a blindfold testing there is no discernible difference between a Dorset cream tea and a Devon cream tea.

12.  While in Dorset I fell foul of both the Secret Sausage Snaffler and the Phantom Pastie Pincher.

13.  When an entire bottle of champagne is consumed within the hour, it leads to very scribbly handwriting.

14. Durdle Door doesn’t actually have a door at all.

15. It is, in one weekend, entirely possible to fill your car with empty sweet wrappers.

16. Stonehenge was built next to the A303 by Neolithic Druids so that construction workers had easy access to the site.

17. I have very lovely readers who will drive a ridiculously long way to see me. Thank you all so much.

6 Responses to “The Things I Learned in Dorset”

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  1. Lyn McCulloch says:

    A thing you should have learnt – come to Swanage next time, champagne, pastries, pasties etc. all available and good company! xxx

  2. Barb Drake says:

    Hahaha! This is wonderful Carole. I love number 2 & 10 especially!! 🙂

  3. Tea on me..sorry I missed you says:

    1..Correct
    2…Correct
    3. Coop here I come
    4…Correct
    5..don’t know.. cannot lean backwards don’t do Zumba
    6…there are more flat caps in a Durham miners village ( I know) maybe you mean the bus drivers.???
    7 ..Correct…. but down Sandbanks way its worth the pain. next time cream tea on me at Harbour Heights
    8 ..you ain’t been to an afternoon tea dance in Bournemouth..mind you neither have I ..YET
    9….Elvis is alive…my friend just bought a pair of Blue suede shoes
    10..Correct….Correct!!!!
    11.Dorset cream tea cream is spread first on the scone, followed by the jam. Cornish cream teas .. the scone is buttered first, followed by the jam, and topped with a dollop of clotted cream.
    12…not had the pleasure
    13…We do a lot of that down here……I mean scribbly writing
    14 a stunning open door one of the prettiest and most geologically magnificent sites on Britain’s south coast.
    15.. you should see my lounge on a Monday morning after an episode of Downton Abbey. Its the only thing that keeps my hubby quiet…actually LOVES it
    16…Never!!
    17…But you are a lovely writer

  4. Fay Preston says:

    Had to read this out loud to my son who was sat next to me as he wanted to know what I was chuckling at!! Just omitted the seagull one!!

  5. Fay Preston says:

    PS we had to look up Durdle Door, thanks for the Geography/History lesson! x

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