Things that I learned in Lapland

  1. It is entirely possible to land a plane on four inches of snow and sheet ice. Listening Heathrow?
  2.  Lapland covers bits of Sweden, Norway and Finland. We went to Kiruna in the Swedish bit.
  3.  No matter how many clothes you wear on the back of a snowmobile in minus 36 C, it will never be enough.
  4.  When travelling on a snowmobile at minus 36 C at 50 mph, the wind chill factor will be minus 75 C. Which is really very cold.
  5.  After two and a half hours on a snowmobile at minus 75 C, it is impossible to straighten your knees until you have hugged a radiator for half an hour.
  6.  It can take an hour to put on all the clothes you will need just to go out of the door.
  7.  When you have put on all those clothes it is then a given that you will need a wee.
  8.  You can eat too much reindeer in one lifetime.
  9.  Doing five hours of cross-country skiing is an excellent way to unjam a frozen shoulder.
  10.  Being in an igloo is extremely claustrophobic.
  11.  Being able to build an igloo is not a terribly useful skill in the Costa del Keynes.
  12.  Running to the loo at three o’clock in the morning in your underwear at minus 35 is an experience that you don’t want to have too often.
  13.  It is possible to wear six pair of socks in my walking boots.
  14.  The snow is too dry to make snowmen and/or snowballs.
  15.  A working husky can pull you flat on your face in under two seconds.
  16.  Dog sledding is a lot more fun than you’d think.
  17.  The glitter in the air is made by ice crystals.
  18.  In January, it gets light at ten o’clock and is dark again by three.
  19.  When the sun is on the fir trees it looks like they are covered in diamonds.
  20.  Lingonberry juice tastes exactly like Ribena.
  21.  Warm water, Lipton’s Yellow Tea bags and long life milk does not equal tea, Lapland. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
  22.  It is possible to work your way through the entire vodka cocktail menu at the Absolut bar in the Ice Hotel, though not necessarily recommended.
  23.  Strangely, the more vodka you drink the more easily you forget you are paying £11.00 per shot.
  24.  Vodka served in ice glasses tastes more lovely than normal.
  25.  The Ice Hotel is absolutely magical. Go there.
  26.  Sleeping on a bed of ice and reindeer skins is surprisingly toasty.
  27.  Everyone should see the Northern Lights at least once in their lifetime. They are totally magnificent.
  28.  It is possible to pay upwards of £11.00 for a sandwich and a bag of crisps at Stockholm airport.
  29.  If all security staff at airports were six foot tall, blonde beauties then Lovely Kev wouldn’t grumble about getting frisked.
  30.  You can be having lunch 200 miles inside the Arctic Circle at noon and by nine o’clock the same evening be having a Chinese takeway in the Costa del Keynes while watching a programme about building the Ice Hotel.
  31.  Lapland is a fantastic place, full of beauty and activities that will make you very cold. I highly recommend a trip there.

8 Responses to “Things that I learned in Lapland”

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  1. Jacqueline Flaherty. says:

    Great tips Carole,your trip sounds wonderful and the photos were beautiful. Sadly I suffer from a form of rheumatism and arthritis,amongst several other things. I can be freezing cold in hot temperatures,so do not think I will be taking the trip myself.Therefore I thank you for sharing your experience with us. J x x x x.

  2. Isabella says:

    Fantastic read Carole!!! as usual 🙂 thanks for sharing! 🙂

  3. Laura E. James says:

    Hi Carole.

    I love these observations.
    How come, when drinking from an ice glass, your lips didn’t stick to it?
    Laura x

  4. Trish says:

    Wow! Full of useful information, Carole! Thanks! ;o) It sounds like a magical place to visit though. Can’t say I’d ever fancied it before. Still not 100% sold, but am definetely more intrigued now. Glad you had a wonderful (albeit expensively intoxicated) time. Hope you have warmed up a bit now. xx

  5. Suzan Collins says:

    Awesome! And only 9 hours to get there! I thought it would be further. Must put it on my wish list. Mmmnnn….but can I cope with the cold?????

  6. Dot Scribbles says:

    Sounds like you had a brilliant time, would love to do this!

  7. Louise Graham says:

    I an just tell by reading these point that the next book is going to be fabulous!

    Ps what is it about the continent and Lipton’s yellow tea .. It was on my cruise and was yuck!!

    Xx

  8. Jeanette Butler says:

    Hi Carole
    You make me laugh so much with your tell- it- as- it- is approach to life. Sounds like you had a good time, if rather chilly around the thermal area. Thanks for the recommendation and clothing advice. Hope I get to see the northern lights at some point in my lifetime.
    Jeanette

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