Just had a fab road trip taking in the totally superb Sherborne Literary Festival and a break in Lyme Regis on the Jurassic Coast. Wonderful. Here are some of the things I discovered.
1. Dorset has more calories than any other county in England: pasties, cream teas, fish and chips.
2. It is called the Jurassic Coast as that’s where the original Jurassic Park was filmed.
3. The Co-Op in Sherborne is the shiniest supermarket I’ve ever seen.
4. There is no decent internet service. Anywhere.
5. Enjoyment of social networking is somewhat curtailed when you have to lean backwards over your balcony with your ipad above your head to get a Twitter connection.
6. Dorset has some of the slowest drivers on the planet. Many of them wear a flat cap.
7. Walking on sand is a lot more difficult that I remember it being.
8. Lyme Regis is a major centre for fossils. That doesn’t mean the age of the people who go there.
9. The last time I was in Lyme Regis was that day that Elvis Presley died – 16 August 1977.
10. Seagulls are not misunderstood. They’re evil bastards.
11. In a blindfold testing there is no discernible difference between a Dorset cream tea and a Devon cream tea.
12. While in Dorset I fell foul of both the Secret Sausage Snaffler and the Phantom Pastie Pincher.
13. When an entire bottle of champagne is consumed within the hour, it leads to very scribbly handwriting.
14. Durdle Door doesn’t actually have a door at all.
15. It is, in one weekend, entirely possible to fill your car with empty sweet wrappers.
16. Stonehenge was built next to the A303 by Neolithic Druids so that construction workers had easy access to the site.
17. I have very lovely readers who will drive a ridiculously long way to see me. Thank you all so much.